There’s no doubt in saying that everybody adores happiness more than suffering. For them, life is like a colourful painting filled with many calm and happy colours, just like a bloomed red flower. But for some, life is painful.
Even if there are some good moments in their life, they feel the fear of pain that it would not last longer.
Every moment of their life is suffering, which they want to end but can’t.
For them, life is pointless, and soon it becomes hollow, which further leads them to make wrong decisions such as drugs, alcohol, and even suicide.
But why?
Why is life so painful? Why do only a fraction of people reach riches? Or happiness is only a myth, then?
In this article, we’ll try to discover why life is painful, why some people always remain unhappy, and why some, no matter what, always have smiling faces.
Life is painful. Why?
Does a stone feel pain?
No, it doesn’t. Because there’s no life in it. Does the river feel pain? No, it doesn’t.
Neither stone nor river feel the pain because they have no life in them. The same is the case for glaciers, deserts, oceans, wind, clouds, and space. They all possess no life.
But suppose they had life, just like us, walking, talking, eating and more, then what kind of world we will be living in today?
I guess it would be pretty chaotic.
We would have no roads to walk on, no homes for shelter, no ships to import or export, no planes, or even quad bikes to show off friction sand.
Now, imagine you are on a cliff, and I ask you to drop a stone from the high ground to the lower. Would you do it? Would you feel any hesitation?
I can surely say that you’d be excited to do that.
Even you’d drop a large stone. But if I ask you to lose a cat, or a rabbit, or someone dear to you. Would you do that? I believe you won’t; this time, you’d be hesitant and afraid.
Why?
Because now we’re talking about dropping a life, and a stone doesn’t have that.
A life without pain has no meaning because it helps us understand ourselves as well as others.
If there would be no more pain, we’d feel no emotion. Meaning that we don’t feel any hesitation or fear if someone asks us to hurt someone else.
We would happily do it, even if the person we’re hurting is our family member.
Why would someone do that? Because that person wouldn’t have an understanding of emotional and physical pain and how they work.
Emotional and Physical Pain: Why Do We Have Those In Our Lives?
A world of complete happiness is a true illusion about which everybody is fascinated.
But a world of pain is a reality, to live is to suffer, and suffering comes in two ways: emotional and physical.
The question that arises here is that if pain or suffering only hurts us, then why it has a type. Why not only one?
To answer this, we have to look closer upon happiness and ask, is there only a single type of happiness?
The answer to this question is straightforward: a simple No!
Just like happiness, there are many types of pain, but mainly there are two pains in life, which I’ve faced many times in my 23 years. If you know more, then please share them in the comments. I might find something useful.
1st, Physical Pain
I am not going to make this complex, I’d tell you about why we feel physical pain in much simpler and planer terms.
We feel physical pain because it gives us the understanding to care about our bodies. So, we don’t treat its parts as objects.
You, I, and everybody know what we do with objects.
We use them and put them aside. We use them until they work fine, and once they’re out of service, we throw them in the garbage. And replace them with another, a new one.
But it’s not the same with our body and its parts.
If some of our body parts start to show some trouble, we can’t simply replace it with another, it’s very complex and hard. Though today’s technology is more advanced than the last couple of decades, humans are still incapable of replacing their body parts.
But imagine if somehow we got the technology, and now we’re capable of changing our body parts, each single one of them.
What would happen now? Whenever we get a bruise on whichever part of our body, we simply replace it.
By doing so, we’d escape feeling pain. And when we don’t endure the pain, we set a foundation of weak mental strength.
How? Let me tell you about my childhood.
How Does Not Feel Pain Cause Feeble Mental Strength?
All my childhood, I was sick of many diseases. They were not severe, but they felt severe for a child of 5 years to 14 years old.
Someday I had a headache, so another day, I had stomach pain.
Fever, diarrhea, cold, and weakness were my best friends. And I cried many times, “why it’s happening to me. Why are children of my age good at health, and I’m weak and skinny?”
Yes, that was me.
On the other hand, my sister and brother were always in good health. They never felt sick, even if they did, they got healthy, way much faster.
But I think those days of my childhood, my ill health of mine, somewhere gave me stronger mental health. Because today, whenever we face a tough situation, my brother and sister are the ones who get affected by it very much.
Here, I’m not saying that I’ve a stronger mental strength, but I can say I have less weak mental strength than them.
And it’s all because I felt pain in my childhood, which they didn’t.
So, if we don’t feel physical pain, we’ll not build better mental strength. Moreover, we replace objects because we don’t care about them; first, we do, but as time passes, we don’t. Because the first time it was money that made us care about the object.
And if we start to replace our body every time it gets hurt, we start not to care about it either.
Because we have the option to replace it.
Once we start to not care about the body, we don’t care about another person’s body as well.
A person who don’t care about his/her body might do things like rape, murder, and organ trafficking because he doesn’t care about his own body, then why the hell he’ll care about others.
Therefore, it’s vital to feel physical pain because it makes us mentally strong, helps us care about ourselves, and others as well.
2nd, Emotional Pain
Anxiety, depression, sadness, stress, and whatever you want to call it, emotional pain is something that can kill a person in sleep. Or makes him/her walking dead.
And it’s more dangerous than physical pain.
However, it’s more easy to treat than physical pain. Only if you look in the right corner with a torch in hand.
Life is painful, and we have got the answer to one of its parts. Now, it’s time to understand another one:- Emotional Pain.
The reason we feel emotional pain is because we don’t accept the situation. We want something else out of our current situation.
We overthink the decisions we made in the past. And keep ourselves in anxiety and depression, asking, “Why I did that? If I haven’t done it, then I might not have to face this.”
And the worst question of all, “why it’s happening to me.”
We all ask this silly question many times, and it’s all because we always want something else. Even if we got the thing we wanted, we do not get satisfied. We keep expecting more and more.
But here, the question is not why we feel emotional pain. Instead, the question is, why keep feeling emotional pain?
Because, after all, we are here not just to suffer.
Have patience, it won’t take long, I’ll tell you why we should feel the suffering of emotional pain.
Why Should We Feel Emotional Pain?
I know it hurts to live with emotional pain, but we have to. Why? Because it helps us to understand the pain of another person.
How?
Think of this, we all feel emotions. We all are connected with emotion, whether it’s good or bad.
If someone cracks a joke in a group, then all would laugh. Because that joke triggered the same emotion in each. And we can feel how everyone present is feeling because we are also going through the same emotion.
Therefore, if a person is going through some kind of suffering, and in our lives, we had that same kind of suffering once, then we can connect with that person.
We can put ourselves in his/her place. In doing so, we’d be able to help him/her better by sharing our experiences and how we got out of that kind of suffering.
So, it’s essential to feel pain, not because suffering leads to happiness, but to understand life as a less wicked thing. To understand who remains standing with us in our darkest time.
And if you’re in an emotional pain this time. For whatever reason, there are many—parents, relationships, jobs, businesses, health, and dreams.
However, keep one thing in mind, you’re not alone in this. Everyone feels it. Even, I am writing this article, feeling it.
But it doesn’t mean we should stop breathing or doing what we are capable of doing.
Perhaps, we are knocking on the wrong door. Or maybe, we don’t want to knock on the right door.
It’s us and our decisions that always want so much from life, creating chaos in every place.
Whether you believe it or not, pain is life because a world without suffering and pain doesn’t exist.
A Request at the End
I hope this article has given you a new perspective about pain, perhaps 10% or maybe 1. If you think it can help people, then please share it with your friends or someone who needs it more. Doing so, I guess will fulfill this article’s purpose.
Moreover, if you have extra time, please visit our show courtesy page, to know why we’re doing this. Also, if you want to read more articles like this to get self-help tips, you can subscribe to our spam-free newsletter.
Thank you
Nathawat Brothers
Putting thoughts for everyone
Stories Worth Your Time
Nice article … Really helpful .. it has help to understand about true pain … Fav line – “The reason we feel emotional pain is because we don’t accept the situation. We want something else out of our current situation”.
How would someone get rid of all emotional pain if everywhere they went they felt negative energy and drained that into themselves?
You answered your own question. But let me know something, if you go somewhere do you expect something out of people? If yes, then you’ve got to stop expecting anything from anyone. Don’t seek a positive experience; else, accept whatever the situation is. Don’t create storyline regarding a particular event.
Or if you’re facing emotional pain out of your Professional, Social, Educational or Family life, then consider this.
For professional life, why you’re facing those kinds of emotions? Have you lately done something that went wrong, or you’re seeking something and doesn’t get it? It’s possible because it may require some change in you, for example, skills to get promoted or a better result.
In social life, we face emotional pain either people are mocking us because of our past, but don’t listen to people because people will always talk whether you’re done something good or bad. Or we’re comprising ourselves, so don’t do that either. In this way, you’re not respecting yourself, which causes emotional pain.
For family life, why you’re facing bad emotions? Is it because people not listening to you or not respecting you, or understanding you? If these are the reason, then you’ve got first to do it for other people, and then for yourself don’t expect anything from them, because most of the time family members without any reason hurt another family member which they also don’t even know about. So, simply forgive them; forgiving people is the best thing you can do.
Not many people read books on self-development; not many people have gone through bad moments in their lives, yet they don’t understand how to treat people right. But you’re an enlightened person; you’ve got to behave in that way.
For an educational life, don’t set high expectations, and give your best. If the past result wasn’t good, then take it as a mirror to reflect some real facts about yourself. Learn from your mistake, and next time do the best.
Last but not least, accept your situation, don’t expect anything and keep doing what you’re doing if it’s meaningful. If it’s solving people’s problem.
Thanks
We hope this would help.
My baby father his using crystal meth and he doesn’t support our child financial and he doesn’t care about the child at all and she’s 5 month old it’s hurt so bad he doesn’t contact me at all
Thanks, Sophie, for reaching out to us.
First, I’d like to appreciate your spirit for facing challenging situations in your life and not giving up.
Second, I’d like to mention that I can 100% relate to and understand your situation as my sister going through the same kind of difficult times. Her husband doesn’t care about her at all. He’s got affairs, used to beat her and treat her like an object.
She has a four-year-old daughter, and her second child is on the way. So it’s been six years of their marriage and that man and his family very rude to us. Whatever bad things he does, his family members support him. And when we try to reach them, they didn’t even pick up our call.
It’s been six years, and we are supporting her both financially and mentally. But soon, we’ll seek legal advice, and after that, we’ll help her start a business. Because we’ve waited for enough, and now things cannot go further.
So, in the same way, if you can find someone who’d like to support you, please go to them: your family, friend, or even government, perhaps.
Because my sister’s getting support from other family members and me, and if you don’t know someone close to you who can support you, then don’t think you’re in bad luck or there’s no hope. Don’t compare and pity yourself. Instead, try to look, and I bet you’ll find someone.
Don’t see obstacles as obstacles; find a way. It looks easy to say, but I know because we’ve been, or I’d say we are in the same situation as you. Above all, the thinking of my country’s society is worse than all the other nations in the world. I hope that would not be the case for you.
So, if you can find support, please take it.
Third, if your husband ever gets sober, please sit down with him and talk. Talk for real; ask him does he care about you or not. Does he wants to provide for his family or not. Or does he seeing any future?
If his answers satisfy you, or you’d find some genuineness in them and after those words what he does helps you feel good, then be with him, support him to get on the better path. Otherwise, you’ve to take a stand.
It’s all on you. It’s your child more than his, and you have to take the bold step and get what your life deserves. Something meaningful, and that doesn’t hurt anybody — not even your husband. Yes, it will hurt him if you take the step to leave, but that’s another thing. He has to pay for what he’s doing.
But don’t take the wrong steps to make your life better because the wrong actions will only take you to a dead end.
You’ve got to be responsible (I know you’re), but you need to be more. It’s your life, so you have to take action. Only you can make it better.
You need to be more strong. You need to be more caring. And you need to be more you. I’ve complete faith that you can do it.
If you want to understand your situation better, I suggest you should read the following articles, we’ve shared so much in these, and they will help,
Same as you, we’re going through bad stuff, physically, mentally, financially and so on. But, despite this, we share articles to help and motivate people. Then what’s more considerable motivation than this.
I believe the same you can do as well.
Please, email me (Don’t comment) your location and number. So, if I get some contacts there, I’d make them aware of you.
But still, you’ve got to do it all on yourself. I want to do more for you, but that’s the only thing in my scope right now.
I pray and hope that things would get better for you, and some other day, you’ll inspire and help others in their life.
Thank you,
Love and take care.
Thank you for your time l have been lost my sister few moun ago then my mother ten days ago and another sister today . In my opinion life is completely unstable. My heart is full of pain . Any try to make any mean of life ls failure. If any one tell me what’s meaning of this circle of pain and why we must take this I prisiat. This life lead us to what ? For what ? And for whom? I believed this illustration idea that some one some forc ( you can call it God) feeding from our pains . Sorry for my bad English and thank you all.
When my father died six years ago I felt the same pain you’re feeling now. Although, it’s been six years it feels like yesterday. I can see my father every day and feel his presence. Don’t you think it’s enough for us to keep going?
I understand that everything you try to do, feels like it doesn’t matter but it does. Because, for living everyone does, but what matters is what you do for the dead ones.
Think of it for a second, how would your mother and sisters react if they were living and found you lost and confused? They would be terrified. Therefore, get up and take on life with strength and do what would have made them smile and be proud of you.
This is how I react every time I remember my father.
I hope these words and experiences of mine will help. And sorry for not responding earlier. And I take full responsibility for it.
Won’t happen next time.
I’m depressed over Covid and what is happening to our world. I feel depressed because of the isolation and the constant fear for myself or people that I love getting severe Covid.
Tired of not living my life and staying in most of the time.
Hi Faith, we can understand your situation, been through that. Plus, there are other people who live nearby us went through the same fear you’re in. But, to help you cope with this situation, we’d like to share a Buddhism saying. It goes like this,
Our world is going through a phase which you and we perhaps are seeing for the first time. But, things like these happened before: Market Crash, WW1, 2 and other incidents. And it’s human to be scared and depressed. But, you’re thinking about something which hasn’t happened yet. Therefore, it’s making the present worse.
So, all we like to suggest is that be grateful that you and your loved ones aren’t COVID affected. And even if that happens, you’ll make your way through it. Don’t be afraid, because sometimes bad time help you become good or even better.
And this world is going to be better because that’s how things work. We’d like to mention one of our article we think will help.
https://nathawatbrothers.net/a-world-without-problems/
Last but not least, please visit your nearby psychiatrist or someone who helps people who’re going through depression.
Thank you for being here.
Try this, if you may: https://medium.com/the-ascent/buddha-on-worrying-7509829c8bbe
Beautiful writing. Brought me to tears! Keep doing what you’re doing.
We’re grateful to hear that. Thanks 🙂
Hi,
I just discovered your website and read some blogs and I can’t stop myself from contacting you and giving you a big Thumbs Up for the quality work that you’ve been doing.
I am also writing about (PHYSIOTHERAPY) these days and I’ve written an article on the topics
I’ll be very honoured If you post my article on your blog.
Please let me know what you think, I can send the article today.
Best Regards,
Bela Watson
Hi,
Thanks for the nice piece of writing.
I am born in a very poor family, uneducated parents, not having the very basics of living, living in a cottage like home. All these caused me to feel of shame and embarrassment into eyes of my peers and it made me isolated and lonely. Not only this but also I suffered many different small or big mental and physical health issues such as depression, OCD, body pain and few others. I grew up lonely and tried hard to get high educations and I did it. After getting a PhD and a high paid job, I m still living lonely and single with finding no meaning of my life. Is there anyway I can pass all the pain and move on? How to find reasons for continuing? Thanks again
Thank you for sharing your story. We really appreciate what you’ve shared here. But when you say you’re lonely, does it mean you’re looking for someone with whom you can share yourself on a deeper level? If that’s the case, you should rely on people you already know. Most of the time, we think we’re lonely because we lack a partner. But, this can be eliminated if you spend time with friends or family.
If you lack those people as well, you should look out for people who share the same interest as you. You can signup for different chat groups. You can take help from meetup.com, it has friendly groups where people meet and share their ideas. Second, get out of your comfort zone and explore your surroundings, and do this just to explore, not to finding reasons.
And third, to help you find reasons to continue, try to read these one as well.
https://nathawatbrothers.net/giving-up-on-life/
https://nathawatbrothers.net/your-life-purpose/
https://nathawatbrothers.net/living-with-pain-is-pain-a-part-of-life/
We hope these ideas will help you a lot and you’d feel better about your current situation.