A good married life doesn’t mean that couples never quarrel or differences do not arise on any matter, but a healthy marriage depends on how soon the quarrels settle and who makes the first attempt.
A perfect relationship between the couples in a married life depends on how true the feeling of sacrifice is in the both for each other. It also depends on how important it is for them to respect their spouse.
A right relationship means that couples listen to each other, understand, and take an idea or disagreement to a result. It must not happen that any dispute should go on for months without any solution. Doing so will light up anger and create space between the two.
Although this doesn’t mean that married couples think of settling any dispute among themselves on the same day, doing so would not take them to the right decision.
Married couples should give themselves some time and choose a certain time to resolve their differences. Remember, when you discuss your issues, keep anger and ego in a closed box.
I hope that this article will help you a lot in ending the problems you’re facing in your married life. For newly married couples, it will teach them the qualities to maintain a healthy marriage.
Five must-haves for a healthy marriage
|Spending time with the partner
|Don’t compare yourselves to other couples
10 signs that you’re absolutely living a healthy and happy married life
The following ten points will help you understand the signs of a healthy marriage, and you’d be able to make yours right if it’s not.
(1) When married couples accept their spouses as they are
What does a happy family look like? Think about it a little bit, because if you’re in a happy and generous family, you will find maturity among members. You can guess from their behaviour that a married couple in that house communicates love and compassion with each other.
However, by this, it is not that problems do not arise between partners or a newly married couple, but how wisely they have resolved them is important.
The peculiarity of a sensible married couple is that even if the husband is not beautiful, the wife accepts him. Or the height and weight of the wife are not a priority for the husband to like her very much.
It means to say that no matter how good or bad they look, both of them are connected to each other’s feelings, and they have accepted each other. This is where a good and respectful relationship begins.
Wife and husband do not rate each other, whether through money or in appearance, whether in education or nature. They have adopted each other, and this familiarity keeps them closer. Their trust becomes stronger and stronger each day, and they start to listen to each other even more.
Even if they are away from each other for a short time, they still ask each other how they are on the phone. In the earlier days, all this was done by letter. And in today’s age, social networking matters a lot. Newly married couples stay connected via email, Whatsapp, video call etc. In today’s time, it is not a very difficult task to identify happily married couples.
When my sister got married and went to her husband’s house, everyone started mistreating her and condemned her as if she was a ghost; a serpent, a witch with legs turned, and a lot more. My only sister went through a lot of mental tortures. And this all happened because our father had passed away two days before her marriage. No celebration took place, and it hurt her in-laws badly because her husband was also the only child in their family. So, they all started blaming my sister for this. It means to say that my sister’s in-laws did not adopt her from the beginning.
My sister never got the love of her husband because that person had loved another girl since 2012, and my sister’s in-laws hid it from my family.
That person still talks to that girl on the phone and meets her — Even though that girl is married. When we put this thing in front of everyone, everyone said that all boys are like this and they keep doing all this other-girl talking and meeting, even though they are married and have children. Nobody listened to us. So you must have understood what pain my sister is going through. I do not know what the situation will be next, but right now, the problem is much worse. This marriage was horrible from the beginning.
(2) When you don’t treat your spouse like a stranger
In marital life, when you do not treat your spouse like a stranger, consider them as your own; you and your family respect them. They are considered an important member of the household. If they are fully believed, then such a spouse keeps their household environment very joyful and lives a healthy married life.
When my sister was newly married, her in-laws snatched her mobile, kept it with them for eight months and investigated it. They did not receive anything against her from my sister’s phone. They were doing all this to discredit my sister and get rid of her. The boy was wrong himself, and attempts were made to disrespect my sister in society. She was treated like a stranger as if she is not a part of that house or family.
(3) When you don’t insult your life partner in front of someone else
No matter how much the married couple quarrels with each other, and curses each other, if there is understanding in their marital life, then they will not insult their spouse in front of any third person. Because they know that if they do this, they will lose their spouse’s trust and damage their spouse’s honour in the outside world.
Quarrel occurs between all husband and wife, but showing them in front of a third man, hurts the confidence, love, trust and respect they both have built-in the relationship. If you love your spouse, you don’t insult your life partner in front of a third person, even if you want to. If you have faith in your relationship, then you can find a solution to any quarrel with your spouse only and continue your healthy marriage.
Attempts were made to prove my sister characterless. Her husband himself even told her that they would declare her characterless if she goes to the court and pleads for help from some other high authority.
Just two months after the wedding, he met with a fatal car accident, where my sister’s in-laws started to discredit her by saying that she caused the accident; my sister is a witch, and the house is not auspicious in the presence of her.
So, they forcefully sent her back to my mother’s house and later accused her she had flown with 5 lakh rupees which were given to her husband on the day of marriage as a gift. Meaning not a single moment was left in which she was not disturbed.
(4) When you are faithful to each other then you’re in a healthy marriage
In marital life, when you express confidence in each other, believe in them completely. You listen to your spouse’s words, feel them, and cause each other happiness, then understand that your married life is on a good track. Being trustful towards each other is called a good happy married life.
When our sister caught her husband talking to that girl for the first time, she was furious, but after he apologized with folded hands by saying that it was his last mistake, she trusted and forgave him. But after a few days, he started talking to that girl again, added status on WhatsApp for her, and so many unrighteous things. It all made my sister shed a rain of tears for many days, and we both brothers were unable to do anything.
Whenever my sister and I trusted those people, we did not get anything except regrets; whenever we thought of taking any action, we were threatened with death.
(5) When you fight each other like friends then you’re in a healthy marriage
It is common to have arguments and fights between husband and wife, but in a good and healthy marriage, care is taken that there should be no breach of dignity. Moreover, the time after a quarrel matters a lot. Because here, it is essential to know who apologizes first and whom receiving the apology accepts it.
For husband and wife, the quarrel should be like fights or arguments between children or friends. Once both parties reach an end during an argument or fight, everything should return to normal as before. Neither of them shouldn’t want to harm each other after that period. If there are quarrels in your married life, do not be afraid, take care of dignity and try to reach redress and establish a cute relationship just small kids fighting on balloons or whose mama got the superpower.
Right from marriage, my sister was beaten up by her husband for issues that had no great significance. At first, she didn’t tell us about all this, but she had to bring it to us when the beating became unbearable even though she didn’t want to. It was heartbreaking, and I, my brother and mum got so angry and wanted to do many things, but we thought fighting isn’t a solution, so we put this issue in front of society.
The reaction of society was hilarious and enough to make every brother lose his temper. The people of the community said to us that it is common for women to be beaten up. Atrocities on women will continue to happen. No one can stop it from happening. Can you believe it? This is how society thinks when a woman gets beaten up by her husband.
But this was not the end of beatings. They gradually became more severe because no one was there to correct that person, especially people from his family. And one day, my sister was beaten up so hard that her one ear was ripped off. And after being beaten, she was left outside our house. When we went to the doctor, the doctor said, “whoever has beaten her so badly, bring him here. How cruel this person is; no human being can do it. Even we can’t do this kind of behaviour to an animal as well.”
Whether you or your spouse has made a mistake or not, neither you nor your partner has the right to lay a hand on each other. Marriage, constitution, or whatever never gave someone the authority to beat another person even if they’d made a mistake. No beatings at all.
(6) When you understand the needs of your life partner
When you are connected with a functional relationship, then you know the importance of that relationship. In married life, the person you are connected with means a lot to you; he/she is well known to you.
The married couple knows their spouse’s needs and how they can fulfil them, whether it is physical needs, family needs, mental needs, or financial needs.
By fulfilling each other’s needs here, it does not mean that you should put any kind of pressure on your spouse or partner; if love is flourishing in that relationship, then the needs of both of you will be fulfilled with responsibility and mutual understanding.
There will be no requirement to put pressure, guide your spouse in a particular direction or treat them as a means to some end.
From 2015 until now, all of my sister’s needs have been fulfilled by both of us brothers and my mother. My sister’s husband used to talk to her to fulfil his needs. He has not even bought a sanitary pad for my sister. Her in-laws didn’t give her the jewellery and clothes we gave her as presents at the wedding. In India, jewellery is so essential to wear at weddings and social events, but my sister either doesn’t go to those events or when she goes, my mother gives her jewellery and clothes to make her happy.
Her in-laws do not even spend a single rupee on my sister and her baby girl. And our father sacrificed his entire money for those people. So that his daughter can live a joyful and healthy married life. But since she’s got married, all she got is tears in her eyes. And nothing that could stop them. Moreover, it is not that my sister’s husband is unemployed, he has a government job, and he thinks it’s better to spend his money on that other lady.
(7) When you both show sympathy for each other
In a happy married life, the spouse has feelings of sacrifice, compassion, steadfast loyalty, love and kindness for each other. You know how important it is to keep your spouse happy for the responsibilities he/she’s taking on for you.
All these feelings couldn’t take place themselves; there’s to be mutual love between both of you. Moreover, this true love can be awakened between the two with the initiative of one — either you or your partner. A healthy marriage is a game of emotions; if your spouse is in any dilemma, that dilemma is also yours.
If your spouse is unhappy about anything, it becomes your responsibility to understand their feelings and bring your spouse to the right decision. Because if your spouse is sad, inevitably, you will also be worried and troubled.
And keeping this kind of compassion towards each other is a sign of a true and happy married life.
(8) When you encourage your life partner for their work
There are times in marital life when you need to be happy about your spouse’s job, hard work, and ability to fulfil his/her responsibilities. Encouraging each other’s work is the strong foundation of true love.
All of this makes your spouse feel that their work is worth the praise, and you appreciate the hard work they have done for the family. They begin to realize that you understand your spouse and care about them.
(9) When you protect your life partner then you’re in a healthy marriage
When you take care of your spouse during different periods of married life makes them feel safe with you. Whether it is a problem arising from the financial situation or there’s another kind of family issue or the outside world – Parents, Children, Neighbours or Society.
If your spouse is standing with you in every issue, then know that he/she is a true soul mate and loves you very much, and every time any problem will arise for you, even if the problem is the same as the previous one, he/she will take measures to get rid of it.
(10) Sex life, which is considered an important part of a happy married life
If you have faith, sacrifice and love in your married life, then the sexual union is an intimacy, a necessity, a joy. But if there is no compassion, sacrifice, faith and love in married life, then sex is just a force or a redress of our sexuality.
I am a married person, and I know that if you like your spouse, consider them as your own and believe in them, then sex is not an option for you to show love. Sex itself is the highest form of love in itself.
Sex is not the medicine of love that one took and fell in love with. If sex was love, then there would be no red light areas in the world today, and every prostitute would have got love, or maybe there would be no prostitutes on earth.
If you have love between both of you, then there will be sex, and if you have sex only, then it is not necessary that you’re in love with each other, meaning that sex is not a measure of love.
If there is love, kindness, and compassion in a husband and wife, then sex is nothing, and they do not need to know it. If you love each other, then having sex is natural. When there is no love between husband and wife, then they are just objects for each other.
Want to know what causes an unhappy marriage? Then read this article -> 9 reasons of an unhappy marriage. When we know what’s causing a disease we tend to treat it better, the same is true with married life.