Giving up on life? I can’t assume or give a straight opinion of why you’re thinking in this way.
But, I can share something that will put reasons in front of you to help you send these kinds of thoughts elsewhere. Or understand them better.
Because after all, if you’re reading this article, it simply means there is someplace in your mind or heart that doesn’t want to end the life.
Something in your life still kindles the fire that doesn’t want to end your ideas, your very essence, and the good memories you’ve made until now, no matter how long you’ve lived.
You’ve come so far; let’s walk a little and see how this single interaction can bring a positive change in you that would eventually bring change in your life.
I won’t say dropping this thought of giving up on life is going to help you. However, why you want to drop it and give your life another chance matters a lot.
It looks from the surface; stopping the problem or situation you’re facing is easier said than done.
But believe me, it’s easier done than saying. Because most people aren’t trained in this way to discuss these kinds of emotions. I think you’ve talked about it before with too many people, but this time it’s going to be different.
This is all you’re going to find in this article. I hope it will help you, and one day you’ll save someone else.
(1) You’re facing physical pain that’s why you’re thinking of giving up on life
In our childhood, we all fell, right? We got hurt; we felt the physical pain that a particular wound or scratch gave to our body.
But does it ever occur to us that we should give up on life? That we should find the best way to kill ourselves.
I never thought of that in my childhood and believe the same is for you.
Now some would say how I could compare the physical pain of a child and an adult.
Here, I’m not making any comparison but trying to present an idea in front of you that how you can deal with your physical pain.
But as you’ve already brought up this comparison thing of a child’s physical pain and an adult one, let’s discuss it to understand it better.
Comparison between a child and an adult’s physical pain – one thing to stop you from giving up on life
If you’re a parent or you’ve met someone younger than you, then you’d know what does it takes to be in a child’s body.
Assume both of you are playing in a park on a seesaw. Suddenly it broke and gave some injury to both of you.
You’re hurt and the child as well. However, the child is crying, and you’re not. Now, can you say your wound is more severe than the child?
I bet you can’t.
Second thing, why aren’t you crying just like the little one. Because you’ve got something that they don’t, you got the medicine of tolerance, and a child doesn’t have it. They don’t know how to tolerate pain in the current moment.
So, how could it be possible that your physical pain, whether it’s lower back or shoulder, is more severe than children’s, even with the medicine to tolerate the pain?
You’re an adult, but by thinking of giving up on life out of your physical pain, you’re behaving like a child. That is what you shouldn’t suppose to do.
And if you still think that your physical pain is the severe pain than all, then it’s because you lack empathy. Feeling others’ physical pain isn’t your human nature, and that’s why you’re too ready to give up on life.
Now, on the other hand, if you’re cautious about people’s pain and do have empathy for them and still want to give up on life, then it’s because you’re not giving value to the nature of time and the procedures that are needed to deal with particular physical pain.
How can time help you to stop thinking suicidal thoughts out of your physical pain?
The nature of time explains that nothing is permanent, and the same applies to your physical pain.
Any wound can go away with time and if you follow the proper procedure with it. However, if you’re facing a severe disease like Cancer or AIDS that can’t be cured, you’re certain of your time of death.
Most people fear death because they don’t know when it will come, even though it can happen at any moment.
But in your case, you can benefit from it. You can live each day as your last day. So enjoy as much as you can.
That’s what time teaches us because when death is near, we want to live more.
But time alone cannot help you
You’ve to go through proper procedures. You have to understand that to get better, you must first swallow the awful taste’s medicines. You have to undergo lots of chemos to treat your cancer if it’s not the last stage.
You can’t eat the apple if you think you’re hurting the tree by peeling it off.
Therefore, to stop thinking about giving up on life because you’re facing severe pain or disease, you need to have,
- Tolerance & behave like an adult.
- Understand the nature of time that nothing is certain.
- And follow proper procedures.
Because if Nicholas James Vujicic, who had no legs and hands from the time he was born, thought in this way, he might not have helped many people as he helped throughout life.
Note: If you’re on a deathbed and facing a long-lasting physical pain, some kind of terminal illness from the last 10 or 15 years, then you should opt for Euthanasia if your country allows it, just like Australia.
(2) You’ve seen a failure which is now making you find the best way to kill yourself
When was the last time you failed at something?
Don’t tell me last time was the last time, but think before that. When was it?
Is it in high school or college? When you were a child or hitting puberty? Or when you were trying to learn how to ride a bicycle?
When was it?
Think hard and press yourself, and you’ll remember your failure. The time when you felt the same emotion like you’re doing now with your current loss.
Now, tell me, what did you do back then when you were saying to yourself, ‘I’m a failure?’
Did you move on or cut your wrist? Or slept in stashing sleeping pills?
Maybe you cut your wrist or overdosed on sleeping pills, but what was that made you survive? What made you live?
More importantly, it’s not essential how you survived but why you survived the bad times of your life.
I don’t know what failure you’ve faced now that’s igniting the emotions of feeling like a failure, perhaps market failure or something else, but there’s no sense in thinking that you could not live with your own failure because we can, and we already are.
If you look at all the successes, what you would find is that at some point, they all are failures one way or another. So, for example, Karl Benz was a success at transportation when he first invented the modern car but was also a failure to the world’s environment.
Robert Oppenheimer was a success at developing nuclear weapons but a failure keeping peace in the world. And even Steve Jobs was a failure at giving other companies a chance to think differently.
Whether you believe it or not, if he was still here, and you’d ask him the question of whether he failed in life, he’d have said to you without thinking twice that he failed at so many things in his life that are unable to count, but he succeeded at one.
He thought differently.
That is why his quote, “If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time,” is so famous around entrepreneurs and other dreamers.
Crazy folks, daring enough to change the world. Just don’t sit back and cry over their failures. Else, they learn from them. Grow from them and, in their next attempt, make things that were never before.
Yes, they cry, but it doesn’t mean they stopped believing what they’ve from the start. They cry because what they could have given to the people today would now take more time. People will have to suffer for more years.
And seeing people suffering is something that can even make an animal cry, and we are still human.
If you kill yourself today, then what’s the point of everything you’ve done now. What’s the point of your hard work, passion, vision, promises and dreams?
By giving up on life, all you’re doing is that you’re making this fact real that you are, for real, a failure.
The single point of failure is that you’re not a failure at failure. You’ve succeeded in failing, which means you could succeed at some other point as well.
Then why stop at a single point. Instead, why not see obstacles as the way to your great destination.
You can do this because we have so much that can make us achieve what we’ve set out to do in the darkest moment of our life.
We have our voice to speak, we have our body to take action, and a set of eyes and ears to listen and see. Imagination to see the world in our ways. And so much more that can make you feel alive again.
Failure is not the end, but just a roadblock guiding ourselves to take another route and be on our path again to greatness.
(3) Lost all hope because your loved ones hurt you (feeling emotional pain)
Love, family and friendship are one of the most cherishable bonds that a human being can establish in its entire life span.
However, these are the bonds that sting us the most. It’s unbelievable, but we hurt the ones we love or get hurt by someone we love.
We fight, argue, get emotionally damaged and much more in these bonds that sometimes they feel like a burden or void if someone’s getting away without giving any reason.
But does it mean we’re bound to doom or lose ourselves in a pit of despair and no hope? Or think love is pain and it’s better to give up on life.
No, it can’t be because whether someone hurt us on purpose or not, we will always remain we, no matter what.
Our happiness, mood, desires, dreams and personality aren’t because of another person, which we will lose if they hurt us or leave us.
Because of another person’s action, we cannot declare our fate. We cannot believe there is no hope because we’re still we. I am I, no matter what you think about me. And your ideas and beliefs cannot change me.
To say we’re independent, but as soon as our loved one hurts us or expresses the desire to leave, we are inclined to think that we need them, and we’re dependent on them.
Yes, we’re dependent. In truth, every person on this planet is dependent on someone. Your neighbour, city, country and the entire world is dependent. The economy won’t move if everyone’s independent.
But this doesn’t mean we’re bound to depend on that specific person who hurt us or leaves us. No, we’re not. Why? Let’s understand this with an example.
For example, I am dependent on a nearby grocery store. And the grocery store has been very kind to me for several years. Now, suddenly things start to change.
The grocery store becomes rude to me, doesn’t give me the stuff I need, and even threatens me to change its location.
And one day it happened, it left the city I live in.
Now, standing on the empty land of the grocery store, what should I do? Should I cry and pity myself that it left me and I was so dependent on it.
Or should I see this as an opportunity to stand up, wipe my tears and find another grocery store?
Some readers now would say there’s a difference between a grocery store and the person we love. But, no, there’s no difference because both things are attached to us and create emotion and feelings in our mind.
The only thing that makes this look different is that we’re too stubborn to think that people can change for real and could hurt us.
The nature of nature is that things and people all go through some sort of change. Nothing remains permanent.
Some people hurt us on the surface. So, others hurt us deep inside. Some get back to us, and others never give us a chance to say sorry to them.
But despite all of these, the thing that’s key to remember is that no matter if we hurt someone or someone hurt us, we could always choose life and live it best.
That’s all it takes. Because nobody’s bound to love you forever, either they leave you on their will or life ends their will. What matters is that you remain you always and forever.
5 years ago, when my father died, things changed abruptly. He was the one who took care of my family and me. But after he’s gone, what’s then. We started taking care of ourselves.
If he’s gone, it doesn’t mean there is no other person who’d take care of me. Or I cannot take care of myself.
I never had a girlfriend during this little life of mine of 23 years. But it doesn’t mean I am not lovable. It doesn’t mean there’s nobody who’d love me. Or I cannot love myself.
Whether you hurt yourself or someone else, giving up on life isn’t a choice. Because if you kill yourself today, then how’d you find who can love you tomorrow.
How’d you find you’re more than what people say to you. Seriously, believe my word.
(4) Made a huge mistake & now giving up on life is the best solution you’re thinking
Have you ever done something good mistakenly?
I believe you have. But did you feel wrong about it? I think you don’t because our nature is to blame the salt in the dish when it’s too much.
However, it never gets the praise when everything’s great in a dish. We either praise the cook or simply the taste and smell.
The same is with the mistakes.
When we make mistakes and things go wrong, we blame ourselves for why we did that and hide ourselves from the world. Then whether it’s at home, school, office or whatever.
Moreover, we take mistakes so strictly that whatever next we do, we try to avoid mistakes, which as a result, kills creativity.
But still, people make mistakes, some big and some small, no matter how hard they try to avoid them. Nevertheless, making mistakes can never be the cause to give up on life. Or anything.
Nothing in this world could become the reason for you to take life as boring, especially making mistakes.
Because mistakes from the past have no value in your present or future unless you don’t stop whining about it.
However, some mistakes have a long-lasting effect on our lives, such as Rape, Murder, Corruption etc. Yes, I count them as mistakes only if the assailant finds himself guilty of the crime.
Now, if you look at those assailants finding themselves guilty, they’d never say they want to give up on life. Instead, you’d hear them saying that as soon as their sentence ends, they’d start over.
They’ll live their life as they always wanted to. Plus, they’ll educate people not to make the same mistake as they did.
And that’s the point of making a mistake.
You learn from it, and at the same time, teach people what they shouldn’t do to end up as you did.
Here, you’re not going to press them to avoid making mistakes. Else you’ll make them understand that they’ll make mistakes in life, but mistakes won’t define them.
Instead, what they’ll become after overcoming mistakes would define their true nature.
Like you, they can learn from their mistakes and get better no matter how complex the situation is.
I made mistakes in life. But, from those mistakes, I’ve learned a lot, and now, I use those learnings to educate people, friends and family to do better, become better and hold on to life — not giving up.
(5) Tried everything in life and it feels boring to live now
Life is unexpected. We don’t know what’s going to happen right after this moment. I don’t know what’s going to happen right after this moment of writing.
But still, we keep ourselves in the mindset that we know what’s going to happen.
And that’s not our fault; it’s the way of living. A little bit of guessing gives us the momentum to get up every day and chase after daily necessity.
If we don’t guess, we might end up asking ourselves how to keep going.
Nevertheless, for most people, this doesn’t happen. Because they haven’t tried everything in their life, perhaps it’s because of their education, financial situation or environmental situation.
But you, on the other hand, tried everything in life, and now living a bit more feels boring, right?
But does it? Does it feel boring to live a little more? If yes, then answer one question or perhaps more because, for a dying person, little is always so little.
Have you seriously tried everything in your life? Okay, keep drugs, parties, making out, and other short term temptations aside, and then answer this question.
Have you tried everything in your life?
Have you tried to help other people reach their full potential? Have you ever slept on the footpath? Have you walked for days to some holy places like people in India do during summer?
Have you read all the books of the world or your nearby library? Have you tasted all the foods? Have you watched all the movies?
Have you visited a hospital full of people facing severe diseases? Have you ever talked to someone on his/her deathbed?
And there is many haves, but the only important thing is that, have you done that all seriously. If no, then go and first try them all.
And if your answer is yes, then the person who’s done all those things would never think to give up on life.
Because he/she knows what it means to be living. Because nobody on this planet could ever be able to try everything.
When you look at the map, the world seems so little, but when you come and sail on the ocean, you find out what a great fool you were back then.
Mix into the world. Leave all the past experience behind, start again with a new vision and as the famous author Paulo Cohleo says, “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”
I hope this article will help you to think about life in a new way. Because the same as you, many people have faced this thought of giving up on life. But, still, by focusing on what matters to them, they have survived. And not just survived, but lived and made other’s life joyful also.
So, that’s what it is. If you have any thoughts or ideas in mind regarding this or any of my articles, please let me know in the comments.
And last but not least, please subscribe to our free newsletter, so you can read mindful articles like this from time to time to get better and do better.
Putting thoughts for everyone.
2 thoughts on “Giving up on life? Read before you die”
How do you balance family life with the adventure ambition and accomplishments you crave i.. 28 years old with soon to be 4 kids and I realize after 5 years all yhe things I’ve wanted to accomplish I haven’t and all the new things I want to accomplish just seem so far out of reach I barely earn enough to pay bills stress is never ending and the love of my life doesn’t have the same level of ambition as me, and after 10 years our morals and views on life seem to grow more distant everyday.
Thanks, Dominic, for reaching out to us.
And in response to your question about how we balance family life, we’d like to say,
If you believe, then every human being is your family, otherwise no one. We not only consider members of our family as our family, rather everyone, including you, Dominic.
If you start to think this way, it will be easier for you.
Now, back to your situation.
Just like you, everyone has ambition; every single person wants to do something marvelous; however, now you’re not alone. You’ve kids and a wife, and we believe nothing is before them.
So, if possible, why don’t you do something that brings happiness to them and it’s also closer to your ambition.
It might look bad to you, but not all your ambitions are going to be true. But, if you stick to one thing that you believe that it would help other people solve their problems, then we believe many of your ambitions will come true.
Take all the things out, and start with one.
And accept the situation you’re in because it will be hard for you to move on without accepting it.
“Be happy with what you have while working for what you want.”
Moreover, to fulfill your ambitions, if you abandon your family then, perhaps your dreams will come true, but what do your kids think about you?
Whatever you’ve learned all these 28 years, how you will be able to teach them to your kids. Because every parent has something that they want to share with their children so they can grow with the right mindset.
You have to take responsibility, for wherever you’re, whatever you’ve been, and whatever you want to be.
But, how you want it to be represented to your kids and loved ones is up to you.
When our father died, we were 22 and 17.
All of his responsibilities came to our shoulders, we could have cried, but instead, we tried to fight back. And because of that, we’re taking care of our 8 members of the family – including our sister and her two children. She’s on a dispute with her husband last five years – so you understand what kind of situation we’re dealing with.
To balance our family, we’re fulfilling all of our every responsibility, yes sometimes it gets hard (we’re not superheroes), but we’re fulfilling them with our face upright. The same you could try, just do the thing for the sake of love and kindness.
And forget about everything. Don’t waste your time; create a schedule and start low and slow for the big and bold.
Lastly, all we can say is stay strong, try what you feel good about, but don’t think of running from your responsibilities. Because with great responsibility comes great power; we believe you’ve already heard it.
If possible, try to read the following books and articles; they will surely help, and for stress relief, please consult any nearby psychiatrist.
1 – The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle
2 – The Obstacle Is the Way – Ryan Holiday
3 – Range – David Epstein
1 – https://nathawatbrothers.net/ideas-to-forgive-one-another/
2 – https://nathawatbrothers.net/how-to-fix-a-broken-relationship/
3 – https://nathawatbrothers.net/ideas-to-build-family-strengths/
4 – https://nathawatbrothers.net/reasons-of-an-unhappy-marriage/
5 – https://nathawatbrothers.net/how-to-do-something-or-anything/
That’s it, Dominic. Thank you for being here.
Love, support, and thoughts.