Behaving as you are isn’t good, why? Let’s find out.
In 2019, I had an interview at a startup (now a good company), and I failed because I was not fluent in English.
At that time, I was angry with the interviewer, but if you want to secure a job, you must communicate well. For a job like content writing, you must also show your grammatical skills verbally.
People judge your writing based on how you communicate face-to-face.
Hopefully, it was the last interview I couldn’t clear, and I did so because I didn’t behave as I was.
Through this post, I’ll show why you shouldn’t behave as if you’re in different areas of life to mitigate failure and gain as much as possible.
Note: It’s not manipulation; instead, it’s the art of playing according to people’s intentions for your gain without harming anyone.
Career (Gain New Heights By Not Behaving As You Are)
After the interview, if I had chosen to stay the same and not improve myself, especially my English communication skills, I would not have cleared the other interviews I did.
If I had a stubborn attitude and said to myself, “I don’t have to improve my English, to be successful it’s not necessary, and blah blah,” I would still be chasing jobs and working somewhere I don’t get paid for the hours or efforts I put in.
Yet, I silenced my ego and put in some effort.
I started reading books, listening to podcasts and appearing at job interviews to overcome my fear of meeting and interacting with new people.
After 5 years of practising and dedicating hours to myself, I have improved my English to the level where my clients get satisfaction and ROI every time they collaborate with me.
Yes, it’s still not fluent, but now I don’t have to get a job because my business is enough for me to earn that satisfies my soul.
Relationships (Don’t Behave As You Are to Master People)
On your first interaction with someone, if you behave as you are, for example, you’re free, fun-loving and easy-going, then people might get jealous, they might find you not career-oriented, or they might see you as ordinary.
You can’t appear 100% perfect, and you cannot appear 100% timid. You need to mix your personality and stop behaving as you are.
People often wear masks to hide their true personalities, and if you behave your true personality, they will not accept it. They think, “If I am not true to myself, how could he/she be?”
As the saying goes, “Something’s fishy.”
To build relationships and move forward with people, you need to act—not as if you’re normal but as if they are normal.
You need to accept them more than your desire to be accepted by them.
While you do so, appear 50% real and fake not at all. If you’re not something, don’t try to.
Not behaving as you are isn’t about trying to be something you’re not; instead, it’s only about leaking drops of your true identity.
If you share everything of yours in a single meeting, there will be nothing left to share.
Society (Don’t Behave As You Are to Make People Work for You)
The society outside this article is based on different rules and regulations.
You can say fundamentals, rights, law and ethics.
Some you like, and some of them you don’t. But if you behave as you are, then society will slowly start to see you as their enemy and work against you.
Soon, they will cast you out, and you’d have nowhere to go–exile or forced to accept their terms.
However, working according to society might hurt you because various orthodox values cage people in their own minds.
Yet, behaving as you are also won’t help.
Therefore, you need to first reach the heights of your career by not behaving as you are. Then, you have to build strong relationships by not behaving as you are.
Once you’ve accomplished a role in society, you are in a position to mould society however you like.
But this all can be done by practising patience and accepting life’s and people’s reality.
First, you need to be compassionate about people’s problems so that later, you can make people compassionate about your problems.
Yes, this might seem manipulative, but you’re not manipulating anyone because you can only be compassionate towards people if their cause moves you, if their problems help you improve yourself.
Don’t make it a game of give-and-take; don’t attach any conditions. Instead, behave to become better so your game of bringing change to the world can thrive.
Good or bad, everyone learns from the greatest.
Bad can protect himself through bribes, but good cannot bribe, so he must conceal his true intentions so bad cannot hurt or stop him.
Not Wrapping Up As I Do
Before you go and get busy with your things, I urge you to reflect on your own journey and consider the role that behaviour plays in shaping your experiences.
Whether advancing in your career, fostering meaningful relationships, or navigating societal norms, the lesson remains the same: behaving as you are may not always yield the desired outcomes.
We must also be willing to adapt and empathise with others, understanding their perspectives while staying true to our core values.
Take my experience of failing an interview due to language barriers as a reminder of the importance of continuous self-improvement and stepping out of our comfort zones.
Through these challenges, we grow and evolve, becoming better versions of ourselves.
As you proceed, I encourage you to find the delicate balance between authenticity and adaptability, especially in social interactions.
Building genuine connections requires understanding and responding to the expectations of those around us without compromising our integrity.
When it comes to societal dynamics, remember that change often requires patience and strategic navigation.
By challenging norms and values when necessary and understanding the importance of conformity in certain contexts, we can work towards a more equitable and compassionate world.
In the end, our journey towards self-improvement and societal transformation is ongoing.
Let’s embrace this journey with open hearts and minds, striving to adapt, empathise, and create positive change wherever we go.
As I continue to share my experiences and insights, I invite you to join me and my brother on this journey by sharing this post, following our social media channels, and considering a donation to support our mission of reaching and inspiring as many people as possible.
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Thank you
Nathawat Brothers
Putting thoughts for everyone.