Marriage is a bond that brings together the families of a married couple. It’s a relationship that is bound by respect, prestige, and love.
In this sacred bond of marriage, husband and wife become each other’s support. If seen from the economic situation, it is a good tradition for the development of a family.
Both husband and wife, after marriage, perform their responsibilities well and work very hard for their family’s progress.
Cultures, customs, standards of living, ideas, etc., are established in the next generation through marriage.
Different countries have different ways of getting married, but one thing in common: transferring the ideals derived from ancestors to the next generation.
What is marriage?
Marriage is not an agreement, nor a seal that can fulfil a job or an obligation by applying it between two individuals. Marriage combines two families to face the dangers of a mutual future. Marriage is the nexus of love, compassion, loyalty, trust, courage, sacrifice, etc., among husband and wife.
If all these are not there in a relationship, then that marriage is false, or you can consider it an unhealthy married life.
9 reasons of an unhappy marriage
(1) Lack of trust causes unhappy marriage
In general, deteriorating relationships emerge due to a lack of trust. In marital life, not believing in each other by the spouse makes a good and new relationship bitter.
The newly married couple has to ensure that why they cannot trust each other, both of them should try to get to the bottom of it.
If you love your spouse, then it is necessary to trust him or her as well. It is difficult to believe your husband or wife in married life when either of you is lying about something or cheating on your spouse.
Or it may be that your life partner is not a trustworthy person. This makes your relationship very weak, and the distance between the two keeps increasing.
Main reasons for lack of trust in marital life:
- You don’t love each other.
- You don’t give importance to each other’s words.
- Both of you believe more in the words of a third person than in each other.
- You give each other less time.
(2) You are not listening or giving value to the partner’s opinion or ideas
The second main reason for a loveless marriage is to give no importance to your life partner’s words.
Newly married couples often mistake that they listen to the terms of another person more than their spouse and implement them and consider their partner as stupid.
Or try to present themselves as highly intelligent, clever in front of their spouse.
When you do not listen to each other, it increases anger towards each other, which causes disgusting activities to occur in the relationship, which further leads to a good relationship on the verge of breaking up.
Not listening to each other in marital life leads to increased coercion. And the wrongful antics like beatings, misbehaviour, abuses and molesters start spreading their feet in a good house.
And the estrangement between the two families begins.
A beautiful relationship becomes very lousy; trust between husband and wife becomes so weak that if a third person starts serving both of them a lie, then that too is true to them. The fighting between the two continues to escalate and you find yourself trapped in an unhappy marriage.
The main reasons that make a husband and wife not giving importance to each other’s things in the married life —
- Thinking of yourself as more intelligent than your spouse.
- Lack of respect for each other.
- Give more importance in your married life to a third person’s words rather than the terms of your spouse.
(3) You are blaming each other
When spouses start cursing each other, then understand that instead of love in their hearts, feelings of hate, hatred and fear have made their home.
Wife not happy with husband and husband with wife, no matter what.
Implementing accusations against each other in the marital life, blaming the spouse for everything is fatal for a new relationship.
If the spouse accepts his/her mistake about something, then there is no reason for anger, hatred, or bitterness.
(4) Not spending time with each other
Not giving time to your spouse in a new marriage becomes the reason for the increasing distance between the two of you.
These growing distances take a massive form of discord in the family and you start to feel like you’re in an unhappy marriage that’s heading towards a wrong direction, no future for you or the ones that will come later in life.
If you do not give your spouse time in married life, how will you know what his/her wishes are, what his/her dreams are, what things he/she needs, etc.?
Because of not giving time, you will not be able to know your spouse, how he/she thinks, and whether he/she cares for you.
The main reasons you’re not giving time to your spouse —
- If the spouse is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
- You or your spouse is having an affair.
- Got married against the will of the spouse.
- Looking at the present time, the marriage of the spouse is against his/her gender.
(5) Not respecting each other
The main reason for a marriage falling apart is not honouring the spouse and his/her family members.
This is because one or both of you consider each other to be inferior in different ways. Whether it is by money or education, family prestige or skin colour could also be a reason.
They forget in their ego that the two of them are no longer separate; their two families are one now. And the violation of the dignity of any one person is fatal for both families.
(6) You don’t forgive each other and thus create an unhappy marriage
It is expected that mistakes happen in marital life, and if it’s the case of a newly married couple, then mistakes will happen too often.
But if the spouse or a family member makes a mess of things on the husband or wife’s mistake, instead of understanding it, it is not the beginning of a happy marriage.
If your spouse has made a mistake, then it becomes your responsibility here to forgive your spouse. And the elders of the family also should forgive the younger ones. Moreover, to keep a marriage happy and save it from falling, young pairs should not delay in the slightest confession.
(7) Comparing yourself to other couples
The biggest and foremost reason for a bad marriage is to see the excess of butter on others’ plate. Meaning you compare others’ lives and wish for the same life as happy as other people.
Or you pity yourself that if you would have married a spouse like others, then your married life would be satisfied today. You didn’t have to think that you’re living a toxic marriage.
Here newly married couples cannot accept their present circumstances, and they find other married couples more happy and blessed.
These days romantic movies & social networking sites present a different kind of married life, especially social networking sites.
Where you’ll only see smiling faces, no one shares their bad moments of life, which unhappy couples are sad to see repeatedly, and aspire to change their past. And then the round of accusations comes, demands and relations begin to get sloppy.
(8) You try to change each other’s minds
In married life, husband and wife try to change their spouse’s mind to persuade each other. An attempt is made to pressurize them, causing dissatisfaction in the life of the spouse.
And due to this mental dissatisfaction, the marital life becomes an unhappy marriage. And the main reason for this is that married couples are unable to accept each other.
Whether it is their education, skin colour, obesity, excessive thinning, dark circles under the eyes, there are many reasons like unemployment.
(9) Bad habits or circumstances
If any of the below-given habits & situations are in you or your spouse, understand that your married life is headed in the wrong direction, which is a failing marriage.
- Intoxication or drug addiction.
- Gambling.
- Lying, extremely angry, beating etc.
- Have an ill love.
- Unemployment.
What is the purpose of marriage?
We understood that marriage connects two families. But do you know the purpose of a good marriage? Therefore, we will now talk about three such important objectives, without which marriage becomes incomplete or perhaps an unhappy marriage.
- Strengthening economic condition.
- Make a family.
- Connect with society.
Strengthening economic condition
After marriage, the husband and wife have to make sure in which direction their future should go. The financial condition of the family is the most crucial direction here.
It becomes the responsibility of both to protect the future from the economic situation. Not for themselves, but they should realize that now they are not alone, they have a family, and they have to make their children’s future beautiful.
They have many responsibilities on their shoulders. All these responsibilities can be fulfilled only with money; that is why the first objective of marriage is to be strong from the financial situation.
Make a family
Parents who donate the wealth they have earned to trust or hand over to their relatives in case of no children will be done in this world.
Most parents make for their children only, and they want their children to carry on their lineage after them and use the wealth accumulated by their parents.
Parents increase their dynasty because they feel that their children will support them in old age, give them courage, and serve them. They hope that their children will earn what they could not in their life.
Parents always see their axis in their children. And raising a family fulfils the following essential purpose of marriage. Children bring parents closer, and bonds of love and affection bind them.
Connect with the society
After marriage, new relationships are formed, understanding and giving importance to those bonds become both husband and wife’s responsibility.
To save themselves from falling into an unhappy marriage, it becomes necessary for both of them to visit each other’s relatives or friends.
The way it is essential for a wife to join the husband’s family, it’s the same for the husband to play his part regarding his spouse’s family.
Only then does love form between the two families, and a genuine relationship gains an energetic marriage foundation.
Tips for a healthy married life
If you are newly married and want your marriage to be long and happy, you should follow the tips mentioned for only one year. You will start to feel satisfied with your life partner and have the life partner you wanted.
And when you follow these tips for one year, you will get addicted to them yourself because these tips will organize you as a good spouse.
Here is one more thing: if one of the newly married couples follow these tips, the other person starts behaving independently. We call it Married Monkey Theory.
- Don’t judge your spouse.
- Do not be angry with your spouse.
- Do not lie to your spouse.
- It is necessary to listen to each other and to value them.
- It is essential for each other to become a reason for happiness.
- If something has gone wrong with you in your married life, then it should not be hidden.
- It is necessary to give respect to each other in married life.
If your marriage has been more than one year and nothing is going well in your married life, then you should accept whatever was formed with you in the past. And start your marriage in a new way.
Follow the above tips for one year, dedicate your life to your spouse. But if your marriage continues to be an unhappy marriage, seek legal advice.
I hope this article will improve your married life, and pray to God that your life would become happy. If you want to know what does a healthy marriage look like, then read this one -> https://nathawatbrothers.net/what-does-a-healthy-marriage-look-like/.
I believe it will surely help you build a beautiful relationship with your spouse.
Thank you
Nathawat Brothers
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