“You could die. At least tell me your name,” she asked.
“It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.” replied the Batman.
Those lines from the movie Batman Begins (2005) changed my views about what makes a person a good person.
I used to tell myself I am kind, I am honest, and so many I ams with words that show character. However, that wasn’t enough because being a good person isn’t as easy as telling yourself that you are.
If one asks you what the hardest thing to do is, then it’s not free solo climbing or completing an ultramarathon; instead, the hardest thing in the world to do is be a good person.
A good person has to make sacrifices, leave their comfort zone, and do things that most people aren’t willing to do.
And that’s not only enough; they have to go the extra mile in whatever they do that makes them a man of character. Haven’t you seen it in movies where the protagonist has to face countless trials and challenges, and only then do they achieve what they set out to achieve?
But it doesn’t mean that a person with character only has good things in them; no, that’s not possible because they have their dark side as well.
They have their moments of doubt, moments of selfishness where they want to gain by causing harm to others, and moments of keeping their ego alive, but despite all of those, they choose to do the opposite, and that’s why it is the hardest thing in the world.
It’s not easy to say no to things you want in life that are in front of you; you can pick them, but you choose not to.
And yet, it’s what makes it an attainable summit—hard but not impossible.
Nothing in this world is impossible except bringing the dead. But with the right tools and commitment, anyone can achieve anything.
The same is true with becoming a good person.
If you want to become one, then I have gathered all the tools below that can help you do this hard task.
The only catch is that, on this one, the whole world will be against you.
If you can tolerate them and you can control yourself not to get offended, then you’re welcome to read this post till the end. And when you do so, keep in mind that reading alone won’t make you a good person.
Thus, only read if you apply what you’ll learn; otherwise, please hit back, and I won’t feel bad.
Now, let’s get started.
Table of Contents
- Why do you want to be a good person?
- 8 qualities of a good person
- Is being a good person worth it?
- From here to where?
Why do you want to be a good person?
Knowing how to become a good person isn’t enough when you don’t know why you want to become one. You can read different articles or books, listen to podcasts, and even watch inspiring movies, but if you don’t know the why, the how will be useless.
It’s just like a mouse continuously running inside a scroll wheel without knowing why it’s doing it.
Therefore, before you know the how, ask yourself, why do you want to become a man of character?
Why are you here on this article?
If it’s already clear, you should continue, but if it’s not, ponder this, and once you know it, you’re good to go.
8 qualities of a good person
What makes a good person?
Well, on this, different people can tell you different things that define or make a good person. However, in order to become one, you don’t need all.
You don’t have to do both the bath and shower in order to get yourself clean.
You need something that’s doable and, at the same time, makes sense in your lifestyle. The same is true with the qualities of a good person. Hence, don’t focus on everything; instead, pick a few that you think you feel natural to.
First, build a habit, then double down on them, and then pick others.
Repeat the same with them, and continue till you master all of them—both the easy and the hard ones. The latter is crucial because hard things make better products and, in the case of personal growth, a better person.
Below are some of those qualities that are essential to master; if you miss one, you miss the whole concept of being a good person.
I. Virtues are needed
Wisdom, Temperance, Justice, and Courage are the four logos of ancient Greeks on the foundation of which they built the Greek empire.
- Wisdom means seeking knowledge.
- Temperance means not managed by emotions.
- Justice means respecting others, including the species other than humans.
- Courage means doing the right thing even if it’s hard to do.
If you’re not new to stoicism, you already know how much worth these hold, but if you have never heard about the virtues that stoics praised so much, let me tell you how they can impact your plan of being a good person.
Think for a moment:
If you don’t seek knowledge, you don’t have the wisdom to understand what’s right and what’s wrong.
If you cannot control your emotions or know how to channel them, then even the smallest thing will make you go mad. Without respecting others, you’ll attract hatred towards yourself because everyone wants to be respected in the end.
And it’s not about whether they want it or not; everyone deserves respect, even criminals.
Last but not least, if you cannot do the hard things, how can you expect yourself to be a good person?
Being good means you make hard choices because hard choices lead you to an easy life, but in order to make those hard choices, you need courage.
Also, you cannot miss one virtue because all are dependent.
So, wisdom to understand what’s right and what’s wrong.
Temperance to not get mad about things you can or cannot control.
Justice to not attract hatred towards yourself, and courage to make hard choices.
II. Em, Com, and Ki
Em for empathy.
Com for compassion.
Ki for kindness.
Yes, these are your next targets because, without them, virtues have no meaning.
If you’re not empathetic towards others, it means you lack knowledge of others’ pain. If you’re not understanding people’s pain, it means you’re not understanding people. And to build good relationships, you need to understand people.
Wisdom tells you to seek knowledge, and by avoiding empathy, you’re avoiding the knowledge to understand people, which simply means losing the virtues.
In addition, being a good guy means you show compassion because empathy isn’t enough.
Sometimes, you need to hold the umbrella for people who couldn’t do it themselves. And in order to do that, you need courage.
Because it’s not easy to cover others while you soak yourself in the raindrops.
But, if you choose not to be compassionate to others, you’re choosing not to be courageous, and if you’re not courageous, then you already know what you’ll lose.
So, we checked empathy; we checked compassion; what’s left now? Oh yes, Kindness.
Well, this is interesting.
Why? Because temperance is a virtue, people mistook kindness.
Most people see kindness as an emotional thing, so they weigh temperance—not managed by emotions—more and avoid being kind.
However, it’s more of a rational thing.
And to be up to the point, it’s more of a human thing. If you’re not kind, you’re neglecting your true nature. Moreover, temperance doesn’t mean that you should stop yourself from doing anything if some emotions have arisen in your mind.
Instead, temperance tells you to step back and use wisdom.
See through the situation, understand what’s right and what’s wrong, and then choose to do something.
Hence, if you’re avoiding kindness, you’re avoiding what makes a good person.
Also, the order shouldn’t be empathy, compassion, and kindness; instead, it should be kindness, empathy, and compassion.
Because if you’re not kind, you cannot be the latter two.
III. Not a people pleaser
If you’re trying to be a good person only to show others, then it means you’re not good to yourself.
If you don’t want to do something but still do it so that people don’t count you as a bad person, you’re being bad yourself. You chose to say Yes while you wanted to say No, only because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings, but chose to hurt yourself; well, hurting yourself isn’t good.
The saying doesn’t go, hurt yourself and please others.
Instead, it goes like this, “Be good to yourself while not harming others. Be good to others while not harming yourself.”
Because there’s a difference between a nice guy and a good guy, and you don’t want to be a nice one.
Nice ones are only nice to others, not themselves; however, good ones know their limits and choose to stay within them as well as don’t let others set limits for them.
If you don’t know what makes a nice guy and a good guy, then the following table will be handy for you.
IV. Can accept mistakes
When someone makes a mistake, the most sane person’s reaction would be, “It’s all right.”
However, if that person keeps making the mistakes over and over and doesn’t accept them, then what would be your reaction?
I don’t know about you, but these words will probably come out of my mind, “what kind of person are you?” “You’re such a horrible person.” “I hate you.”
That’s the probable scenario.
Now, will these words be used for a good person? No, nobody will ever say anything like that except those who are not good themselves. But, think for a moment: what would be your reaction if someone makes a mistake and accepts it?
Well, in that case, you might get angry a bit, but you’ll also accept the fact that anyone can make mistakes.
You won’t go beyond your limits and label them as bad.
But accepting mistakes isn’t enough; you should work on yourself to improve. Ensure that that doesn’t happen again because if you do repeat, then eventually, people will label you a bad person.
Furthermore, it’s not about people; if you keep repeating the same mistake over and over, you’ll start to treat yourself as miserable.
V. A good person chooses the right path
What’s a right path?
For people who don’t care about virtues, it’s the path that suits them and fulfils their needs. The best example is Andrew Tate.
It’s the path that kills their enemy who did wrong to them and keeps their ego alive. They don’t obey humanity; they don’t obey nature. For them, it’s their right, and to get it, they can cross any limit.
It’s their way of virtue, the justice one.
And because of that, they choose not to obey the law as well, and eventually end up being bad and behind bars, or perhaps buried with the dead before their time comes.
Now, decide for yourself what the right path is and why you should choose to follow it.
VI. Understand their responsibilities
I have a family like most people have, and because I have a family, I’ve my responsibilities to work to provide for the members of it. Taking your responsibilities is one of the signs that show you are a good person.
If you’re making excuses, you’re running from your responsibilities; you’re running from your duty.
You are running from courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice because a family makes you face all the virtues stoics used to preach so much.
My sister’s husband is the perfect example of this.
He doesn’t care about my sister; he doesn’t care about his children. He earns to satisfy his own needs, and when we try to make him face to face with this fact, all he has to say is, “Throw my kids out on the street; they are my children; I’ll handle them the way I want to.”
Now, tell me one thing: is he a good father or husband?
He’s not, and if he’s not a good father or husband, how could he be a good person at all?
Good people understand their responsibilities and fulfil them no matter how hard it is for them.
Also, it’s not about family responsibilities but responsibilities of all kinds.
VII. A good person can choose uncomfortable situations
The definition of uncomfortable situations is straightforward—the situations in which you need to leave your comfort zone. Without virtues, it’s not possible because one needs courage to go to war with oneself.
In the winter, the bed under the sheets is the safest and warmest place, yet growth only happens when you get out of it.
It’s really hard to do that, but with courage, you can.
However, if you choose not to get out of it, you’re choosing not to use the courage, thus losing the virtues.
Uncomfortable situations aren’t just about more sleep but about choosing good habits over bad ones. It’s easy to stay up all night and watch your favourite TV shows, but it’s hard to work.
It’s easy to go to the bar and have beer parties with your best mates, but it’s hard to go to the gym and lift weights.
A good person knows the difference and chooses what’s uncomfortable but right to do.
VIII. Can forgive others and oneself
The easiest thing to do is forgive others and yourself for all the mistakes and heartbreaks, but it’s still the hardest thing for most people to do.
They just cannot shake this idea off their mind that whatever happened just happened, you can’t do anything about it to make it right. Yet, they keep themselves fixated on that so much that nothing new gives them a good vibe.
They don’t understand the fact that if you’re not forgiving someone for their past mistakes, you’re not accepting their present.
You’re stuck with the past, which is not letting you move forward. In order to grow, you need to move forward in life and by forgiving someone, you can do that effectively. Forgiving someone isn’t hard, but accepting the reality is that someone made the mistake and wants to make it right.
It needs the courage to accept what happened and move forward.
Through virtues, one can do that, and when they do so, they qualify themselves as a man of character.
However, if you’re not forgiving someone or yourself, you’re choosing not to accept reality; you’re choosing not to be courageous, which simply means losing the virtues, and when someone loses the virtues, they are not trying to be a good person.
You can simply say they are bad.
Is being a good person worth it?
Is living worth it?
You might say yes, or you might say no, but as long as you are not living, you cannot say whether it’s worth it or not.
Likewise, you cannot say anything about being a good person as long as you’re not one.
However, if I talk about my experience, whenever I chose one of the qualities from the above, I never regretted it. Yes, they were hard to do, and they were hurtful as well, but if I look at the long-term effects, they turned out good.
Everything we do in life can only be measured by looking at the big picture.
If you’re choosing to be good, don’t try to look at its result in the short term; you won’t find any; however, if you’re patient enough to wait, patient enough to tolerate, and patient enough to control your emotions, the outcome will be different.
If I have to say simply, then I’ll say, Yes, it’s worth being a good person.
From here to where?
Thank you for reaching the end of this article. It means a lot; I feel that whatever I have written above has made sense to you.
Also, it motivates me when I see your comments and find that my words are helping other people. They give me peace about the fact that choosing to become a writer was not a wrong decision in the era of YouTube and TikTok.
My request to you is that reading this article will not be enough.
You have to take action, and that, too, for the long term because fruits on the trees take time to grow.
So, start from today, start slow, but start.
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Thanks again.
Nathawat Brothers—sharing life advice that makes sense.
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