Can People Change? Yes They Do, But How?

Can people change? Or rather, can a person change or can he be changed? This is not just a question, but it is a feeling which is often asked in society and family.

Can you change another person or not? 

Ask yourself, has there been any change in the nature or behaviour of any person till date?

By controlling or binding a person, you can win over their thoughts or their nature for a while. But how long can a power be controlled? How long can a person be bound? 

Control simply means that you no longer have control over that thing, person, or place.

Consider the above sentence in this way: Can you hold water in your palm? Can you hold the sand in your grip?

Your answer would be, No!

It’s clear that the person whom you want to keep under your control will be out of your control.

Although you can change the shape of water, its behaviour can also be changed, because it is in the very nature of water that it changes itself. But you cannot direct the water; water determines its own direction at its own speed.

In the same way, whatever tendency a person has, they will behave accordingly. 

If a person is excessively angry, then their behaviour will be false, hypocritical and immoral. 

They have to choose the path of compassion, kindness, sacrifice to keep calm or control themselves. So that they can succeed in changing themselves.

But if the person doesn’t want to change themselves and they do not know why they’ve to change, then there is no value that you or any person, monk, saint, religion, or money can change them in a genuine sense.

Can people change? Can people be changed? Do people really change? 

The answer is, yes! People can change and people can be changed, and people do change, provided people want to change themselves.

Circumstances can definitely change any person, whether it forces them to go in the wrong direction or makes them self-enlightened to do something wonderful. A person’s condition is determined by the person’s time. 

It is the conduct of the person that guides the future of the person.

In any situation, in any kind of time, the identity of the person is determined only by the conduct of the person.

And because of this certainty of the person’s conduct, the person is unable to change themselves. They continue to act as they are until they have realised what is right or wrong.

For example, we have biographies of many such persons: sadhus, patriots, etc. on the basis of which we can verify a person can change automatically through their self-knowledge.

However, because of some external force or pressure, the person becomes hostile.

Lord Gautam Buddha’s early life was spent in security, glamour, magnificence, and with no worry or fear. 

But when they came to know about the external world, which we call the land of sorrow and happiness. A world full of real problems and complications, that the name of a person’s life is struggle, their mind and soul got crushed.

They were forced to ask this question, “why do I have all these comforts and not other people just like me?”

And it’s not like that only the external world and the situation they witnessed made them ask that question. Instead, they were very compassionate from inside and they felt the sorrow of their people. 

More accurately, they wanted to feel that sorrow. 

They didn’t want any kind of privilege because that was the time of their enlightenment. 

In that moment, they had to change their form because only then they could have become Lord Buddha from Prince Siddhartha.

Likewise, Ashoka had a change of heart after he carried out the merciless massacre in the war of Kalinga. Not because he saw too much blood, because that was his life since childhood. But, he changed because he wanted to. 

It had become enough for him to see dead people or kill people one after another. And he wanted a way out and changing himself was the best one.

So, again, can people change? Do people change? 

And the answer is, yes, definitely. Even the worst of the worst people can change. The only thing required is, do they want to? Because change is the rule of nature.

One way or another, everyone has to change. Yet, it depends on you whether you become bad from good. Or become worse than the bad.

You can’t change another person. However, you can show them the path to become a better person. But, in the end, it all depends on them whether they choose to walk on that path.

In the Indian mythology, king Kamsa of Vrishni kingdom was a cruel ruler but loved his cousin sister, Devaki. And not only her, but he also cherished his friendship with Vasudeva–husband of Devaki. 

However, when the oracle’s prophecy said that her child will kill Kamsa, his true nature was revealed. 

Life gave him a chance to become better, but he chose what he was from inside. He chose to put his beloved sister and her husband behind the bars and kill 6 children of theirs.

So, that’s the thing about whether or not people can change. Yes, they do, but it’s totally up to them how they do it.

Steps You Can Take to Change Yourself

One thing you should keep in mind is that you can only change yourself, not other people. If you try to do that, you’ll end up changing yourself in a bad way, which you never wanted. 

So, the first thing is, stop or stop trying to change people. 

Second, when you want to change yourself, list down why you want to change. Whether it’s about improving your situation or you’re just trying to escape from responsibilities?

If it’s improving your situation, then the third thing you need to do is start low and slow. 

Have many targets in it. When you achieve one, move forward to another. Baby steps are the finest to bring change in your life and become a better person. 

By doing so, you’ll either make things or break. But in both situations, you’ll have something to build once again. 

So, that’s my take on “can people change?” I hope it helps you understand if people can change. Through this, what I wanted to share is that, in life, we have choices–to be honest, too many choices.

And wherever we end up, it’s all because of those choices. 

So, no matter what, try to choose which is always right for you and doesn’t hurt other people. Sometimes it can, but try to see what value they’re offering to the next generation. 

How they impact the life of your loved ones. That’s what matters.

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Nathawat Brothers

Putting thoughts for everyone.

First published on29th January 2023 @ 7:08 pm

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