Mean parents and an undisciplined child, if combined, can bring the house down in a while. However, if you know the qualities of a good parent, then dealing with a rude child could be easy.
Because a child is always a child, but parents are adults, and they have to do the learning part first before teaching an innocent.
And that’s where most parents make a mistake; they expect a good reply to foul language from a person 20 or more years younger than themselves. They expect them to be knowledgeable of all the things and show good behaviour all the time.
But that’s not possible; instead, you should be good behavioural and knowledgeable of all the things, because you’ve lived more years and done the education to be the right parent.
And that’s why in this post, I’ll discuss 10 qualities of a good parent that would lead you to help your child grow in a much better environment. Plus, you would feel like you’re the best parent in the world.
So, why wait? Let’s get started!
Treat your child as a child
A child cries, get stubborn about many nonsense things and drives you crazy like hell.
In this situation, what will bad parents do?
They beat the child, don’t listen to it, or get angry and throw that anger either on their spouse, at work, neighbours and everything that would come between the parent and child.
Why?
Because they don’t treat the child as a child, rather they see it as an adult, just like them, who knows how the world works.
But this kind of behaviour won’t take you so far. So, to learn the qualities of a good parent, what you need to do is, see a child as a child.
Don’t expect him or her to behave like a grown-up adult of age 20s, 30s or more.
Whenever the child cries or gets stubborn, please don’t get mad; instead, watch your environment and understand it’s child’s behaviour to cry, get determined, play against your rule, and nothing more.
Children don’t understand different things in the world unless they get to the right age.
Even most adults don’t understand what’s happening around the world. So, how can we expect a child to understand everything? Right.
Listen to your kid before you listen to yourself
What most parents do, they bring their opinion in between their child’s thoughts. They don’t listen to them, and then things become chaotic.
Yes, most children are wrong about many things, but it doesn’t mean we should stop listening to them. Because if a parent of Stockholm did that, then we would not have met the Great Thunberg.
We would not have seen many good kids turn into great personalities that are empowering today’s world.
Whenever the child speaks, let him or her speak, don’t interrupt or make any replies in your mind. Let them talk clearly and fully first.
Then, understand their emotions and the purpose behind their thoughts.
Now, if they are wrong, then tell them, “You love them enough, and you know they’re passionate about it, but this idea is not good.”
And if they are right, tell them, ” You love them enough, and it’s a good idea.” as Gareth Thomas explains in the Don’t Tell Me The Score podcast.
Listening to your kids without interrupting them is another quality of a good parent, which instils the quality in your child to speak confidently and without the fear of rejection or unheard.
Spend time with them to deepen the parent-kid relation
Your child cannot understand you if you don’t spend time with him. Moreover, you won’t be able to establish a healthy connection that makes a true relationship between a parent and the kid.
By spending time with your children, you won’t only flourish the love, but you’ll create an environment that instils trust and confidence in your child.
By sharing moments with your child, you provide them with the sense that they are not alone and someone is there for them to take care which makes them feel more secure and robust enough to face their fears.
Above all, spending time with the child will make him understand your responsibilities and how he should behave, and you’ll also understand what matters to you the most. Simply put, you both understand your responsibilities towards each other.
Open doors, don’t select
Every parent on this Earth wants their children to succeed, and out of this desire, they send their child into a particular career, without thinking once whether he or she really wants to do it.
Perhaps some caring parents send their child into something he or she likes, but then they become very obsessed about it, that he or she must succeed in it.
But this is not a quality of a good parent.
Because sometimes, or I should say most of the time, a kid chooses a career out of fascination and what others are doing, what’s famous at the moment. But he later finds out that it’s not what he wants to do.
Therefore, to put yourself on the list of good parents, you should always open doors of opportunity that your child can work on. It would help if you guided him on how he can achieve that and what’s best in it, but never select out of your fascination, instead let him choose.
Develop a good routine and adopt healthy habits
It’s a well-known study that children do things the same way they see their parents and adults doing. If you eat in bed, they start to eat in bed. If you shower while singing, children will imitate you and sing when they shower or bath.
The kind of routine and habits we follow daily not only impact our behaviour but also directs a child to behave somewhat similar to those habits.
If you practice bad habits, then the probability is that your child will also try to adopt them and practice each day. Therefore, to pass the test of an ideal parent, it is essential that you follow growthful and good habits throughout the day.
Such as,
- You meditate daily to guide your mind.
- Read books to learn new things and grow your knowledge.
- Avoid screens late at night and in bed.
- Exercise for good health.
- Wake up early and sleep early for a better mind.
- Avoid smoking and drinking alcohol in the presence of the child.
- And many more good habits that you can find on the internet. But choose wisely because not every option will incline to your schedule or environment.
It’s good to keep your arguments out of the house
It’s true that children learn from us, and when it comes to arguments and fights, they learn it, too, from us.
If you and your spouse have heated arguments and fights inside the house, it will soon affect your child. It may make him feel fearful of you or your spouse. Or, it may change his behaviour entirely that not only causes trouble for you but everyone around him.
Research has found that family conflicts can affect children’s emotion and behaviour where they can feel problems like depression and antisocial. Therefore, it’s good to keep your fights out of the house or in the absence of the child.
What if you are right and your spouse is causing all the problems? In this case, it’s time to fix your relationship. Or move forward.
Apologize, forgive and say thank you
When it comes to apologizing, adults think that elders are not meant to say sorry to the younger ones. But they’re wrong. Why? Because when we don’t be sorry for our mistakes, how’d they learn to say sorry for their mistakes.
Remember, they learn from us, and when we apologize for our mistakes, we teach them that it’s okay and acceptable to apologize. There’s no shame in it. It’s an incredible value we can teach our children to help them make better and beautiful relations in the future.
After teaching your child the importance of apologizing, now it’s time to make them learn the importance of forgiveness. And how can we do that? By forgiving.
If it’s hard for you to forgive someone who makes a mistake, then even if it is your child, you should keep this line in your mind, i.e., “It’s a birthright for a child to make mistakes, and it’s a responsibility for a parent to forgive them. Because if kids aren’t going to make mistakes, then who will?”
Furthermore, making mistakes is a crucial part of learning. More importantly, if you won’t forgive them, then how they’re going to forgive you. Don’t forget, children learn from us.
Apologizing and forgiving is incomplete if you don’t mix things with a nice thank you. You might be left behind to learn the qualities of a good parent. When you develop this habit to say thank you to your child for things they do for you or support the house environment, you raise a great kid.
Saying thank you to your child won’t only help you in the house, but it will also lead you to a successful path in your career. The same will happen to your child. A nice thank you to someone will make a beautiful day for both the receiver and sender.
So, to be a good parent, practice apologizing, forgiving, and thank you.
Don’t compare your child with others
Not only with your neighbour’s kid, but also with your other kids. Why? Because it will help your children grow at an individual level. They will have more confidence in their ability, and you’d be able to connect with them more profoundly on a personal level.
When we compare our children with one another, they start to feel less confident in their abilities. Moreover, they feel jealous of each other’s ability and affect them to perform better at their individual level.
It further creates conflict in their relationship, and they might not support each other when one is going through a hard time. And you may find your family broken and going down with no hopes for a better future.
Keep track of your kids – Online & Offline
The quality of a good parent isn’t that he gives his child complete freedom; else, you know what limits that freedom holds. Because a car without a driver and auto driver always go in a wreck direction.
Therefore, it’s important that you keep track of your kids’ world, not only in the offline world but also online. The digital world in today’s time is more dangerous than the real world.
In the offline world, keeping track of your child is easy — You know where he goes, whom he’s friends with and what he does in his free or busy time. But the online world is tricky. And today’s kid knows more ways than bill gates to get the worst from the internet.
So, to keep track of your kid online, what you can do is, first, limit. Impose time restriction on websites that can’t affect your child if they serve them for a while. And impose a complete restriction on websites that are bad for adults too.
The best way to do it is through your ISP provider because kids are smart and can break password protection or software.
Second, while they are online, track their activity using a family app. You can use Google Family Link for parents if you’re using Android. Or, you can set screen time on iPhone or download FamiSafe[1].
Parental Control is a must in today’s hectic virtual world. And in my opinion that you should keep your child away from social media like Facebook and Instagram. Want to know why? Then watch the Netflix documentary, The Social Dilemma.
Read books to your kid
There is more than one benefit of reading books to your kids.
- You’ll grow your knowledge.
- Increase your child’s listening ability.
- You’ll boost their creative power.
- With you, they’ll also become knowledgeable.
- You’ll instil values in yourself as well as in them too.
- And there are more benefits of reading books to your child. Just start it once, and you’ll find it wonderful forever.
I hope these ideas have helped you to learn the qualities of a good parent. And I believe by following these tips; you’d become a great parent and raise a nice and beautiful child. If you think this article can help other parents, please share it as much as you can.
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Thank you
Nathawat Brothers
Putting thoughts for everyone.
References & Notes —
- Recommendation based on popular review by Parentalcontrolnow.org