How to Forgive an Abusive Parent?

It can be difficult to forgive an abuser, particularly when that abuser was someone you should have trusted to love and guard you without condition.

#1

Remember that you don't have to forgive your parent if you don't want to. It's ok if you aren't ready to forgive them yet. Take your time. Take care of yourself & assess the damage first.

#2

For your own sake, not your parents, please forgive them. Do it so you can reclaim your life and release any toxic anger you may have been harbouring.

#3

Know that forgiving someone doesn't mean condoning their behaviour. Forgiving your parent doesn’t mean you think their abusive behaviour was OK, and it doesn’t mean you would let it happen again.

#4

Set boundaries in your interaction with your parents. If you don't want to, you are not required to be close to your parents. Do it on your terms if you do want to keep your parent in your life.

#5

Decide if you want to get in touch with your parents. You don't have to meet your parent in person to express your forgiveness, either. Do not feel compelled to communicate with them.

#6

Think about inviting a third person to observe the Interaction. If you are not alone with your parent, you might feel more at ease.

#7

Talk about the abuse. Bring up the abuse with your parents to set the record straight. Inform them of your thoughts and how they affect you.

#8

Give forgiveness to others. It's not just for your parent's benefit that you should forgive; you also need to be able to let the past go in order to move on.

#9

Recognize that your parent might never grow up. Unfortunately, a lot of abusers have always used the same methods. Don't get upset if your parent resumes old behaviors.

#10

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